


Four Times You Made Kanaya Maryam Laugh In Bed

by arjache



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Flushed Romance | Matesprits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 04:52:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arjache/pseuds/arjache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GA: Rose What Happened To The Bed<br/>TT: Do you like it?<br/>GA: I Dont Know What It Is Exactly That Im Looking At Here </p><p>---</p><p>Kanaya doubts Rose is taking this "bed" thing very seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. En La Cama

**Author's Note:**

  * For [graveExcitement (arachnids)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arachnids/gifts).



> In response to the prompt: “Rose’s interactions in Act 6, and especially Act 6 Intermission 3, have been comedy gold! So let’s see some more of that humor, snark, and wit! Romance optional, though if you go that route I would prefer Rose/Kanaya, though.. I wouldn’t say no to Rose/Aradia, as Aradia has been quite funny of late as well!”

  
GA: Rose Will You Kindly Get Up Already   
GA: We Have An Appointment In Less Than Half An Hour   
GA: And Your Repeated Attempts To Lure Me Back To Bed Are Not Going To Change That Fact   
TT: It's too late for me, Kanaya.   
GA: There Is Still Sufficient Time   
GA: It Wont Take You That Long To Put On Clothes Ive Seen You Do So In Considerably Less Time Than That   
TT: You don't understand.   
TT: You see, I have contracted a tragic illness which forces me to remain in bed.   
TT: Which is actually the primary symptom.   
TT: The primary, tragic symptom.   
GA: What   
TT: I am bedridden with illness. The bedridden illness.   
TT: I am...bedstuck.   
GA: Rose Something Tells Me You Are Actually Fine   
TT: Wait. I need your help.   
TT: The only known cure for this affliction is the application of copious amounts of booty.   
GA: Now I Know You Are Actually Fine   
TT: But what if I'm not? Dare you risk it?   
GA: Well   
GA: Just How Urgent Is This Treatment   
TT: It needs to be applied as soon as possible, and repeatedly.   
TT: Clear your calendar.   
TT: It'll be a while.   
GA: I Dont Know If I Can Accommodate That   
GA: Maybe I Should Just Attend This Thing On My Own   
TT: You're right. I might be contagious.   
TT: Save yourself while you can, Kanaya.   
TT: Save yourself before I doom you to a life of never-ending booty romps.   
GA: Rose Im Going Downstairs Now   
TT: Carry me down to the water, lay me down in boughs of breasts.   
TT: Set our ship to sea.   
GA: Goodbye   



	2. Negotiation

  
TT: So I have a proposition for you.   
GA: Oh Do You   
TT: Yes.   
TT: I propose that I would like to spoon you.   
GA: That Would Be Lovely   
GA: Though Really Not Needing Such Exposition Given That Were Both In Bed And Have Spooned As You Call It Many Times Already   
GA: I Would Also Like To Note That You Are Currently Messaging Me Despite The Fact That We Are No More Than An Arms Length Apart From Each Other   
GA: I Am Tentatively Rating Said Action As Adorable   
GA: Pending Further Developments   
TT: The new development in question is that I would like to be the big spoon this time.   
GA: Oh   
GA: That Seems Kind Of Poorly Advised Given Our Relative Size Differences   
GA: But Im Willing To Give It A Shot   
TT: I know.   
TT: That's why I made these arm extenders.   
GA: I Uh   
GA: What The Hell Are You Holding Up Right Now   
TT: Bonus arms.   
GA: Youve Already Got Arms   
TT: And now I have more. I stole the code from John.   
GA: Im Not Sure Im Okay With This   
TT: But just think of the possibilities.   
TT: I could extend my reach for spooning.   
TT: Or other bedtime activities.   
GA: Um   
TT: Or I could make a few extra.   
TT: Maybe you'd like me better with eight limbs?   
GA: I Uh   
GA: Where Did You Hear That   
TT: So it's true?   
GA: What   
GA: No   
GA: Maybe   
GA: I Dont Think I Should Answer That   



	3. Herbert

  
GA: Rose Do You Ever Think About The Future   
TT: Well, I am a Seer of Light.   
GA: No I Just Mean   
GA: Think About What You Would Like Our Future Together To Look Like   
GA: Regardless Of What Your Powers Inform You   
GA: Though I Suppose Im Curious About Those Too   
TT: Actually, I think about that quite frequently.   
TT: How I'd like to spend the future with you, that is.   
GA: What Are Your Thoughts On The Matter   
TT: Tell me yours first?   
TT: You were the first to bring it up, so it seems only fair.   
GA: Well   
GA: Okay So   
GA: I Would Like To Think We Settle Down And Have a Large Hive Together   
GA: Somewhere Nice And Sunny   
GA: We Could Fill It With Books And Fashionable Decorations And Happy Memories   
TT: I like this plan.   
TT: It is remarkably similar to my own.   
TT: Add in a library, a study or two, a sun room and garden for you...   
TT: Maybe a breakfast nook.   
GA: ...   
GA: ...   
GA: Rose That Is The Filthiest Thing I Have Ever Heard   
TT: Oh, it's actually not as dirty as it sounds.   
TT: Unfortunately.   
TT: We may have to work on that.   
TT: Anything else of note?   
GA: Hmm   
GA: Maybe A Pet   
TT: Not children?   
GA: Well Okay I Guess We Can Have This Conversation Now   
GA: But Yes Id Like To Try This Peculiar Human Custom Of Actually Raising Offspring Someday   
GA: To Be Honest   
GA: I Often Thought Of It Even Before I Knew About Humans But Im Glad To Know Its A Thing That Can Be Done   
TT: I'd like children.   
GA: Oh I Am So Glad To Hear That   
TT: In my version we would have 3.6 children.   
TT: And they would all be named Herbert.   
TT: Except for number 0.6. I guess they could be Herb or Bert.   
TT: Or maybe just Erbe.   
TT: Erbe Maryam-Lalonde.   
GA: Excuse Me   
GA: I Think You Mean Erbe Lalonde Maryam   
TT: I'll wrestle you for it.   



	4. Fort

  
GA: Rose What Happened To The Bed  
TT: Do you like it?  
GA: I Dont Know What It Is Exactly That Im Looking At Here  
TT: It's a fort.  
GA: A What  
TT: A pillow fort.  
TT: A defensive structure built to repel invaders.  
GA: Is This Something You Had Reason To Be Concerned About  
GA: Has Gamzee Started Sleepwalking  
TT: In this case I built it more for nostalgic, as opposed to practical, reasons.  
TT: It's an Earth custom. Children aren't responsible for building their own hives, especially not the highly defensible sort.  
TT: But we still like to play at it in our youth.  
GA: Hmm Interesting  
GA: I Wonder If That Is Our Doing Somehow  
GA: So How Does One Play At Hive Building  
GA: Are Invading Hordes Required  
TT: Traditionally siblings play that role. But that's optional.  
TT: Now that I've constructed the fort, what happens next is that we go inside it.  
GA: Okay  
GA: Okay I Think I Have Secured Myself Inside Now  
GA: Sorry About The Roof  
TT: It's okay. I fixed it.  
GA: This Is Remarkably Cozy  
GA: Now What  
TT: Now we use our imaginations.  
TT: For example, I'm imagining my hand on your leg.  
GA: Wow You Are Very Good At Imagining  
GA: Because I Could Swear That Your Hand Is Actually On My Leg  
TT: Your turn, Kanaya.  
GA: Okay  
GA: I Am Imagining  
GA: That I Am Kissing You  
TT: Mm.  
TT: You learn quickldkeoisdcijozccoilidca  
GA: Ssshhh  
GA: Only Makeouts Now  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! --  
\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] is now an idle chum! --  
TG: hey did someone call for an obnoxious sibling  
TG: you wanted me to show up and try to knock the fort down right rose  
TG: rose  
TG: um  
TG: okay forget it terezi it looks like theyre too busy making out right now  
TG: guess you didnt need to get into your dragon costume after all  
TG: lets go bother karkat instead  
GC: R4RR  



End file.
